Im not sure if I have read anything by you. Probably have. I try not to look at names to much because I don't like the idea of becoming biased based on knowing "this person" has shown their love. Plus your a Mod, and a lot of the times I get the impression that people are just kissing your asses cause they responces seem so forced. Thats just what Ive seen, but I could be biased. haha. Okay, so I really enjoyed the peice. For some reason I sort of get a kick out of that scattered, but almost still related type poem. I have been dividing my up into days and weeks to have to same effect, but to make sure I very clearly drew out a seperation. Anyway, you explained this before hand so it wasnt necissary.
do I have a bunch of unfinished shit? haha, its all unfinished. Its when I finally give up that it makes its way in there. haha. If you can't focus on a single subject than don't I just get an idea and write it down and when I am depressed and need a distraction I will pick it back up again, and think.. when this will make my mind off my life for a bit. (yea its sad that I usually only write well when Im sad. Happieness is a form of shallowness for me. Its perfectly functional for my emotional state, but when I am trying to analyze or be creative the friction starts kicking in. Anyway for not being able to focus on a single thing you pulled off a nice poem and a variety of things. They all seem to carry the same underlying theme of personal reflection and I like that.
"i breath in deeply
while sitting silently
alowing the pain to
ease though my veins and
curdle my brown skin " <--this is real nice and brings up some good memories.. paticularly my memories of being on morphine. lol painful purple morphine crush yellow oxycodien kisses snowwhite vicodin teardrops opiated blue sky wishes. sound sleep but still completely conscious. wide awake but still sleeping. Surrounded by completely lucid darkness. My eyes are open but Im dreaming. haha yummmmm definately a hot line
"i'm sorry
i apologize
i was alone and
found shelter within u
beautiful u
i used love as a cruth"
^ this is really nice. I just wrote something that reminded me of this a few minutes before I opened this post. ohh spooky. my mother said she was beautiful a said yess yesss I know i know. She was my shelter and there is no place like home. lol
I also like the line -i used you as a crutch- I know this is about a lady friend, err. i think it is, but it still reminded me of religion. I just like the whole image of collapse into yourself without this person by your side.
"daddy you hurt me but i'll never let u know it
and swear to god these 3 lines will be the only
things in my life that i will ever devote to u "
^wish you would give him more than 3 lines cause this shit caught my attention. The worst news is the best news. what oh what did this man do to you? very good lines.
"i've spent most of my life as a sinner and want despertly to
change my life for u..or atleast i say i do"
^.... hot hot hot!
lol
next stanza you use life like crazy, but you did it in a very graceful manner. Very cool poem.
Ashes